Welcome back, and again it’s been a little while since I last wrote. It’s been a while, but to me this while hasn’t felt very long at all. Indeed, I am currently slightly flabbergasted (what a word!) as to how ridiculously fast time is slipping through my fingers.
Why, you might ask? Well, for the past few weeks, I tried to deal with the overwhelming mixed feelings about the fact that my exchange in Canada is coming to an end. In three weeks I will be sitting on a plane on my way home, after spending these last ten months here in Ontario. Some of you who have been following this blog for a long time, might remember that I had trouble wrapping my head around the thought of leaving Switzerland last summer, well now, I have trouble realizing that my Canadian adventure will be over in a matter of three weeks.
When I arrived in Canada last September, I remember as clearly as it was yesterday, how the sudden realization that I would be spending the next ten months all by myself in Canada, a country that I had never visited before, in a town where I knew not a single soul. This realization hit me only when I woke up the first morning in my new home. Of course, I knew all of that beforehand, I was prepared (or at least thought I was) to leave, had everything packed long before and had said my goodbyes. However, my brain run on pure excitement for a few days, so that the extent of what it meant to actually be in Canada for ten months, only truly hit me when I had finally arrived in my new home. That everything went well from that point on, is, I think a well-known truth, but the point I am trying to make, is that I only really realized what I had gotten myself into when it all happened.
I find myself in a similar position, a whole 9 months and 1 week later. The countdown is on, the days fly by, each one seems to dissolve into weeks and months so quickly. When I look at the date each day, I am reminded of how close I am to home, where I finally get to see my family and friends again, and each day I am reminded of how soon I will have to say goodbye to everyone and everything I learned to love so dearly in Canada. And trust me when I say, that I will annoy you with this dilemma of mixed emotions in many more posts to come. It is a thought that doesn’t seem to let me go, it is a problem every traveler once faces. The dilemma of having found a second home, of having lost your heart to a country and its people, having found a new family and new friends whilst still missing home with everyone you grew up with.
It all feels so surreal.
It feels surreal that the ten months that were supposed to be so long, suddenly appear so short, gone in the wind. It feels surreal how much I’ve learned, accomplished and experienced these past months. It feels surreal a foreign country and host family have become a home thousands of miles away from home. It feels surreal how natural this whole exchange year now feels. It feels surreal, that in three weeks I will be leaving Canada for an indefinite time and simply come home as if my life had been paused for a while, pause for a blurry dream where I’ve been gone. It feels surreal that I could live this dream.
And I am so grateful for everyone who made it come true.
I’m out and about,
Photography: “Surrealism – Photo Evolution” Instagram